Travelling the deep San Diego mud puddle, I spied Bert dragging in his next antelope carcass and we spoke.
Me: 'Why antelope carcasses?'
Bert: '----'
Me: 'Why the RCSP?'
Bert: '----'
Me: 'Are aliens indeed involved?'
Bert: 'Mmmm, could be. Ooops, damn, you caught me off guard. Now I'm a de--'.
Bert met an unfortunate end during this interview. But as you can tell, this conspiracy runs deeper than just a dead mascot. When will it end?
And where are the donuts? |
I have just caught up to the assassin who shot Bert. I'm going to see if I can get a word with him. Me: 'My goodness, you just shot Bert. Why, in the name of humanity did you do it?'
Assassin: 'He smelled.'
Me: 'But he was carrying a dead antelope, he's going to stink a little!'
Assassin: 'Oh. My oopsie. Don't tell my boss. He gets so moody when I do things like this.' Me: 'Speaking of which, how do you charge?'
Assassin: 'What?'
Me: 'I mean, do you charge by the hour? Do you get a bonus when you finish ahead of schedule? Are you paid by a monthly wage?'
Assassin: 'WHAT?'
Me: 'And do you get any dental benifits? How about health? And do you get holidays or is your work seasonal? Are you unionized?'
Assassin: 'Look, go away before I shoot you.'
Me: 'Ah, gotta go, bye.'
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