It has been proven that Eaton's was part of this alien conspiracy. And there is also proof that Thomas Eaton did not die, he returned home to the planet BLOGNART.
Thomas Eaton came to Earth in 1794, just as early exploration to north America had ended and British and French colonies started to sprout up. Concentrating first on the indiginous people that were there first, he set out to conquer what is now known as Canada. To this end, he started a trading post near the middle of the 19th century (Thomas was a notoriously slow starter), and started to sell his 'goods'.
What the unsuspecting population were unaware of is that in each fibre of clothing, in every stick of wood, in every metallic gleaming bolt that he sold, alien technology spread throughout and brainwashed the entire populous.
And then came Eaton's.
Eaton's prospered and soon were able to spread its evil through their family 'celebration', the Santa Claus Parade.
All was well, and the mighty empire prospered.
And then it happened.
Thomas Eaton got bored and went home.
And you know what happened after that, don't you? |
